The difference between cats and dogs.......

Have you ever really watched an animal? I was thinking about it today, while watching my cats do their regularly strange little things, and it occured to me that they aren't just animals, without a brain, or conciousness, but are actual living little creatures with little personalities and mannerisms and such.

I knew all this before, of course, because I've grown up around animals all my life, but just sometimes they do something that reminds you of that.

I found some pictures today of puppies and dogs and cats and kittens, and it occured to me that dogs and puppies always look guilty when they are doing things they shouldn't, like tearing a teddy bear to death, or digging up your vegie patch, or even scratching themselves when they know you've put a healing cream on them and so they shouldn't scratch. But cats?

My cats at least, well they never seem to look guilty about much at all, except for the twins. They often look guilty, because quite often they are! My two older ones though, if they've just shredded something, or done their business somewhere they shouldn't, they give me a look that says "well if you waited on us at our every beck and call like we think you should, then we wouldn't do it!", and so it ends up being my fault somehow. But the twins? They seem to know that they shouldn't do these things, and so they have the good grace to look embarrased and sorry when they do :-)

I caught one of my older cats today, just sitting on his bum in the back yard. Not doing anything, just sitting and looking about him. Since my dog died, he's had full run of the back yard, and I often look out my kitchen window and see him prancing around the yard, much as my old girl did when she was alive. As I have said before, my older boy cat (Mr Vampire Teeth) seems to have taken over the role of protector from my dog. My older girl cat appears to be content to spend more and more time inside these days, though I guess I'm not surprised, given she's 10 now.

My life is still full with my pets, and trying to pack up my house - though I've not done a lot of that recently due to having had the flu for about four months now, and having started physio on my back recently, but I'm getting there.

I still have my wonderful boyfriend, and he's been just about the best friend a girl can have recently, taking care of me while I've been sick, and keeping my spirits up when I think I am going to be sick all of the rest of my life.

Anyway, stuff to do, and sweet little kitten cats to hug and kiss and spend time with.

Rain Rain come this way........

We need more rain. Our dams are pretty much empty. We need a flood or two, not that I want to live through that particularly, but we definitely need the rain. Actually, I could live without the rain here, so long as it rained over the dams. That'd be good.

This morning it's raining. The weather men and women on the great god TV tell us that it will rain much of the week, which probably means it won't, because when are they ever right? I mean, honestly....

I like the rain, though. It gives me an excuse to curl up in bed with a good book and read for a few hours, or go online and just do some research, which I love to do.

I have to admit though, I know now why I changed from dial-up to broadband. At my boyfriend's place I use dial-up, and it's so incredibly slow, compared to broadband, but at least its unlimited, so I'm not complaining (much) :)

Anyway, things to do, rain to enjoy.

The frailty and fragility of life and the wonders of anime

Since my dog died, I think I've been more aware of the frailty of life on this planet.

Not just human and animal life, either, but plant life too. The day before my old girl died, my rose bush burst into furious blooming, and hasn't stopped yet. Normally, I'll get maybe 12 roses at most all year from the rose bush, but I must have had at least 30 in the last month. And yet, yesterday, when I happened to look at the bush, I noticed only one or two roses on it, when it's been covered in them for weeks now.

And when I was standing in my back yard yesterday, I happened to look up and see a sign writer. He was busy writing "NO DAM" across the sky, but by the time he got to the M in DAM, the NO had almost vanished.

Perhaps I am just more aware now of the life teeming around me on this beautiful planet that we call home, or maybe I just finally opened my eyes again after a long sleep.

Recently, mostly because my boyfriend is seriously into it, I have been discovering the wonders of Japanese Anime. My experiences of this genre previously had been Akira, Neon Genesis Evangeleon, and the old tv show "The Yearling". I loved that show as a kid, and I'd love to track it down on dvd now. But as I said, my boyfriend is into the anime thing, and has a rather nice little collection of dvds (though my collection seems to be growing too, courtesy of a friend of mine who keeps plying me with more) representing this fast growing genre.

The japanese have, apparently, been doing anime for simply ages. It's just that us westerners didn't necessarily know that. We tend to think, as Westerners, that if we didn't create it, it doesn't exist. I found a rather nice blog about that yesterday, that commented on the fact that Western films and tv shows all seem to have an annoying male kid at the centre, and all have intelligence levels of Barney, whereas the Japanese Anime stuff has normal people in it, decent intelligence levels, and a hell of a lot of quirkiness.

One of the series my boyfriend introduced me to involves a talking motorcycle and a girl who travels on it, around the world, only staying in one place for three days at the most. It's an unusual little series, and I'm sad to say I cannot remember the name of it just now, but it's worth watching.

Currently, though, we are attempting to watch all the Studio Ghibli films. I think the oddest one I have seen so far is "My Neighbour Totoro". It involves an 8 foot tall cat. 'Nuff said. :-)

Though Studio Ghibli films all have a lot to say for themselves. A lot of them have inner meanings, and messages. Some are just feel good type films. But most of them you do need to watch more than once. Without offering any offence at all, I think if it was possible to describe them this way, I would say that Studio Ghibli is Japan's answer to Disney, but with more intelligence and better characters.

Apart from that, what have I been up to? Hmm...let's see. I'm in the process of packing up my house for the elusive move that will happen one day, some day, down the track. It also gives me a damn good excuse to stop being lazy and get off my bum and be ruthless and chuck a heap of stuff I've been holding on to for years, that I don't need anymore.

I'm also playing with languages. More for something to do than for any other reason. I've always loved languages. I find them interesting. I get excited at the idea that I can read and write in another language. It's like opening that secret door that always seems to exist in computer games, and finding a whole new level (or world) out there to investigate. But then, I guess I also have a passion for learning in general, as I am discovering. The amount of lecture notes I still have is truly frightening!

Anyway, the day is sunny, and I have things to do.

An innocent soul set free xoxo

My dog has died. Her "visit" this morning was her way of saying goodbye, it seems.

Dad was with her right up until the end, and she died with him there in her kennel, surrounded by greyhounds who had only got to know her over the past week, but who already loved her.

At least she's no longer suffering, and is free once again to be a happy-go-lucky pup.

RIP my sweet and beloved girl. You will never be forgotten, and you were honestly and truly loved.

Happier times....?

Do you believe in psychic goodbyes? I do.

When one of my grandfathers died back in the 1980s, I remember this feeling just before he died, that he was in my room with me, trying to tell me it was his time to go. Shortly after that, the phone rang, and we were told he had died a few minutes before.

The same thing happened in the 1990s when an uncle I loved dearly died. I knew he had died before Mum even rang me at 6.30 in the morning to tell me. All I could say to her was "I know. I was there." She didn't understand, and I don't expect her to, because rightfully I was asleep in my bed at home, not up at the hospital holding his hand.

Last night, or early this morning, I was woken by a jangle of collar, a thrumming down the back stairs, and a happy joyful barking. I haven't had the phone call yet, so I don't know if this means my beautiful, sweet, loving dalmatian has died, and she was coming to say goodbye and let me know she was no longer suffering in any way, or if (and here I know I am hoping like mad, but do you blame me?) perhaps it is her way of saying she is better now, or at least on the mend, and that she will indeed soon be home?

I have had guinea pigs hold on until I came home so they could say their goodbyes to me before dying. I even had a pet chook who let me know her moment of death.

This dog has been special though. She came to me as an older dog, to begin with. Shy, reserved, timid. But coming here seemed to change her. All of a sudden she became this happy, joyful pup again. Walkies were her all-time favourite part of the day, except for maybe dinner time :-)

She has gone from a dog that would lie quietly near the back door, hoping that someone might consider feeding her, to a dog that takes an active role in getting that food from the fridge into her tummy. She howls at the back door, she tries to stick her little wet black nose through the security door mesh, and looks so incredibly sweet and loveable that I can't help but feed her.

When she came here, she had never seen steps, let alone ever had to climb them. She was 5 years old then, and one rainy night, my two older cats got out, so my dog had to come in! And so, in the rain and the dark, I had to teach her how to climb my back steps. I'm sure if anyone had been watching they would have been laughing themselves silly, because in the end it involved me having to show her how to climb the stairs, by going down on all fours and doing it for her, so she could copy me.

In the end, I think the fear of being stuck out in the storm without "mummy" made her give in and attempt those stairs, all the time crying her little heart out. She's always been scared of storms, apparently, so she spent the night inside with me, and believe me when I say that a single bed really and honestly does not fit a human and a dalmatian. She refused to sleep on the floor - just had to sleep with me, I guess. She not only hogged my pillow, but also most of the bed, so I had a sliver on the edge, and she had the rest. But it was worth it, to keep her safe and happy.

There's not much I wouldn't do for this dog.

Together we have discovered the joys of walking. Because of her, I finally managed to lose some excess weight that I just never could shift before. And because of her, too, I am overcoming my shyness around strangers. It's hard to be shy when you are walking a dalmatian, and there are kids around going "ooh doggie!" and "oooh spots!" and such. It's also cool when total strangers shyly come up to you and ask if they may pat your "doggie" because they have never been that close to a dallie before, and have always wanted to pat one.

This dog has changed my life for the better, and I know I have done the same for her.

I just have to hope that if she has indeed died, then wherever she is, she is happy, and joyful, and once again puppy-like. And that if she is still with us, then her "visit" this morning was just a heads-up that she's feeling better, and for me not to be so sad anymore because she's coming back soon.

One can only hope, anyway.

A prayer for my dalmatian

It's cold here today. I got home from a weekend out with my boyfriend only to find that the cats had left little presents for me. Ick. So I opened all the windows last night, after cleaning up the mess (and they had fresh cat litter too, but it seems, chose not to use it this time. Grr). Hence the reason it's cold here today, I guess.

Currently my beloved dalmatian is having a prolonged stay with Dad. She's not at all well, and I guess the cold weather hasn't been helping her much, given she's an older dog to start with. But I do know that I miss her terribly, and hope like crazy that she comes home to me soon.

I have to admit, it's very odd here without her. She'll have been gone a week tomorrow, and I still cannot get used to seeing her empty dog bowl, empty dog bed, and lonely-looking water bucket. It's very strange indeed, not to see her sweet and extremely loveable face staring at me through the back security door, and to hear her whining at me at 3pm every afternoon.

Now that she isn't here, I feel bad about all the times I told her to shut up and stop whining, and made her wait until 3.30pm or even 4pm before I fed her, and all the promises I made to take her walking every single day, twice a day, when in reality I'd take her walking a couple of times a week, though more in winter.

I miss sitting on the back stairs with her, and beginning my day with a cup of coffee and a whole lot of doggie kisses. I miss seeing her stare up at me with her patient, beautiful, sweet, brown doggie eyes, so brimming with love and devotion.

I hate it when she's not here, and yet, I've not even had her two years. Suddenly, I cannot remember what it was like when it was just me, two cats, and a guinea pig or two. The velcro kittens came along with the dalmatian, from the same household, and I know they miss her too. I find them sitting at the back door, miaowing sadly, hoping she'll appear and say hi. My dog loves those two little kittens, though she loves to bark madly at the two older cats :-)

It's strange how one (or a bunch, as in my case) animal can change your life so drastically. I grew up with dogs, for sure, but I never really saw myself as being a dog owner when I became an adult. I didn't really plan on having pets as such, anyway, but the cats, at least, all seemed to adopt me, and so here I am. But when my dog came into my life, and yes, she was another rescue/adoptee, my life changed for the better.

All of a sudden I was out walking all the time, seeing more of my suburb than I had ever done before, meeting people, having complete strangers come up to me and ask if they could pat her because they'd never been that close to a dalmatian before. She's such a happy dog, friendly to the whole world, and I miss her so much. My house feels so empty without her. Granted, it still has four cats and a dalmatian guinea pig in it, but it still feels empty without my old girl.

Quiet. That's it. No happy doggie noises. No thrumming up and down the back stairs. No rushing off to bark at things only she can see. I miss those noises. I miss the fact that its almost impossible to go down the back stairs without having to first ask her to move her backside out of the way. I miss being unable to go around the back yard without her tagging along to "help". I miss her "helping" me hang out the washing too.

I hope she comes home soon. I love her too much to ever want to lose her. Get well soon, my sweet loveable dalmatian.

Happy Little Vegemites

Apparently it's Thursday.

Not 100% sure on that, but that's what I'm being told today. The bin men are outside too, so I guess it must be true because my garbage always gets picked up on a Thursday.

I had to get up early this morning and race outside to put the bins out because, as usual, I forgot yesterday to do that!

When I went outside, I realised that I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt on this cold winter's morn, but actually, it wasn't all that cold today. Odd, considering there was wintery fog down the other end of the street, and I was barefoot, standing in dewy grass, in summery clothes!

My boyfriend was happy to see me yesterday, I think. I brought him over some soup, and did a general tidy-up of his flat for him - made his bed, did his washing - all the kinds of things that people do for others when that other is sick and they care about them.

Today, though, I'm doing the "matchsticks propping up the eyelids" thing in an attempt to be awake. I have heaps and heaps of things to do today, and I'll do them, really I will.....it might just take a few cups of coffee first before I'm capable of doing any of that :-)

Why is it, though, that when someone is sick, we always seem to bring them soup? I for one happen to love soup - any time of the year, sick or otherwise - but what makes soup, that thing most people don't seem to like, become "comfort food" when we are sick?

For the rest of the year, most people won't touch the stuff, but the minute they are sick (and this is particularly true of men, no offence to my boyfriend or any other male that reads this blog, intended), all they want is soup? I love the taste and texture of soup. I love the fact that I can pretty much eat as much of the stuff as I want and not put on weight (depending on the type of soup, of course). But these same people who all clammer for soup when they are sick, are also the same ones who are claiming its "icky, slimy, wet" stuff when they are well! :-)

Currently I'm going through a phase of trying out soups that are a bit different to the normal stuff. Oh don't get me wrong, I still love my tomato soups, my cream of chicken soups, my beef soups, my garden veg soups, but I'm discovering that there is a whole plethora of flavours out there.

My newest favourite is Dutch Curry and Rice. Ooooooohhh yummy! The Potato and Bacon one isn't too bad either. Then there are the range of Asian soups, most with noodles, that seem to be quite good too. As soup is one of my main food sources these days, I like to challenge my taste buds a little and try a few of the new ones :-)

And as my batteries haven't yet been charged with enough coffee, I'm going to play "dumb blonde" and change my subject in this blog willy-nilly again (not that I am blonde, because I'm not!)

It's been ages since I posted a picture here. I'll try and do that on the weekend. I'm going off with my boyfriend for a couple of days to meet some of his friends who live out of town, so I'll try and take some pictures while I'm there. He promises to give me a "grand tour" of where he used to live, and apparently there is a gorgeous park there. So maybe some trees and flowers and such might just appear in next week's blog entries. Really need to update my digital camera though. It's good for basic photos, but not good for close up details.

Have a look here:

http://silverhound.blogspot.com/

This post has some great photos on it. She's really good at it, and she used to send me semi regular emails with other photos she'd taken.

Anyway, stuff to do. A gallon of coffee to drink. Vegemite toast to make and consume. Pets to talk to and deal with. Dust bunnies to wage war on.....

Cybermen, Daleks, and gorgeous Doctors.....

It's early and I'm having my second cup of coffee in an attempt to actually wake up before I make a dash for the train to go visit my sick-with-the-flu boyfriend.

I was thinking last night about how the Winter's sky in Australia can be so beautiful. It gets a really really deep blue colour, almost like the colour of the sea, and there's something rather calming about it all.

And last night, I dreamt of Cybermen and Daleks. I've been watching season 2 of the new Dr Who, and the new-improved Cybermen are there to be seen. These guys are scary as shit.

I think perhaps my cats were knocking at my bedroom door last night or something, as I kept having nightmares that Cybermen were trying to break down my door and get at me :-)

I'm really impressed with the new Dr Who show though. I was always a fan of the old one, so I was a fair bit wary at the thought of a 21st century version of an old classic, but the BBC stuck to its guns and stayed on track, and created a show to be proud of.

And I know I'd certainly love to see a blue telephone box turn up outside and a gorgeous Dr come for a "spot of tea"....*ahem*....

Anyway, stuff to do.

A blog for my sister....

My sister pointed out recently that I haven't updated my blog in a fair while. So I'm trying to rectify that currently :-)

I'm pretty much over my flu, however it seems my boyfriend now has it. Oh well. I guess Mum and Dad taught me to share a little too well.....

I've been fairly busy of late. I'd forgotten what fun having someone new in my life was. We're in the early stages - you know, the soppy stuff. The first shopping expedition, the first outing, the first time meeting each other's friends, that kind of thing. Both of us have yet to do the meeting of each other's family members though. That'll be fun!

We actually went to a party on Saturday night. It reminded me why I don't go OUT much these days. One, drinks cost far too much - even if you only have one. Two, the music is generally too loud (or am I just getting old?). Three, having rocks pelted at the train window on the way home was SOOO not fun. Four, getting home around 1am reminded me I really AM getting old. Five, getting home around 1am on a cold winter's night drove the OLD point sorely home. Blah...

That said, I enjoyed meeting his friends, and actually getting out of the house and away from my manic velcro kittens, as well as Mr Vampire Teeth, and She Who Must Be Obeyed or she'll rip the furniture to shreds, plus Droppy Dog, the dalmatian, and my sweet wheeking little guinea pig.

His friends seem to be great people. I just hope he likes my friends as much! :-)

So what else have I been up to (since I promised my sister that my blogs wouldn't become a soppy romance novel about my relationship with my boyfriend)?

Let's see:

1. It's still winter, so it's still cold. The Westerly Winds were around for a bit today. Made it rather nippy.

2. Been waging war on the dust bunnies in my house. I think they are planning to attack sometime soon.

3. I temporarily repaired my boyfriend's computer, though I'm going to rebuild it when he lets me, or when it dies completely - whichever comes first. (And maybe steal his super duper nice and wonderful video card that his computer can't support, and replace it with my old one that it can support....umm...probably shouldn't actually admit to that here, huh?) :-)

4. Moving furniture around and rearranging my house. Also chucking heaps and heaps of stuff out.

5. Watching the newest Dr Who episodes, and enjoying watching my boyfriend get into a little huff every time I go "mmmm....David Tennant is SOOOOOO yummy......." :-)

6. Playing Bejeweled 2 Deluxe, Collapse 2, and Zuma Deluxe.

7. Burning the contents of my hard drives off onto dvds and cds.

8. Watching dvds with my boyfriend.

9. Playing games on my bf's X-Box. Weeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! What fun that was! :-) Never even seen an X-Box before.

10. Preparing to go on a little trip this weekend, to meet more friends of my bf.

11. Making arrangements to see my sister sometime soon so she can tell me what she thinks of my choice in men :-)

You know....the usual.....

The War of the Flu Rages On

Day three and counting. Not bad, I guess, but I know that the sooner this damn flu is over and done with, the better. I know I'm very much looking forward to being able to breathe again properly, not to mention actually being able to hear what people are saying to me :-)

I came across a giant tissue today. Now that sounds odd, I'll grant you that, and I'm sure it conjures up some rather strange imagery for some folk out there (ala The Goodies and the episode "Kitten Kong", perhaps?), and perhaps its the cold and flu tablet I took making me a tad stranger than usual, but I really did come across a giant tissue.

My boyfriend has a box of them. They are quite simply, HUGE. Kind of like men's hankies, only made of tissues, I guess. He offered me one, because I guess he might have been sick of the dripping from my nose or something :-), but he offered (proffered, perhaps?) me this huge tissue to stop the drip nevertheless.

I'm glad he did though, because even wadded up in the corner of my jeans pocket, they are still quite useful, and seem to be far stronger than the average garden-variety tissue you get.

Now for something OTHER than a discourse on tissue sizes (its not the size, but how you use it, I know...) and strengths :-)

I've been catching up on Dr Who. Old and New. I procured a copy of the very first Dr Who episode the other day, the one with William Hartnell as The Doctor. Oh God is it bad! But its still really cool too. Having tonight just watched episode 10 of Season 2 of the new Dr Who, its quite obvious that the good old BBC has at least gained a halfway decent budget since 30-odd years ago when Dr Who first started out!

Last season (Season 1 of the new Dr Who), I quite liked the doctor - and the actor that plays him, but having just sat through 11 episodes with the new doctor - David Tennant - I think he's a much nicer perve....*ahem*....a far better doctor - yeah, that'd be it :-)

Other things going on in my life:

1. Still slowly sorting through 13 years worth of stuff so that one day eventually within the next year or so, I'm actually going to be able to finally move house.

2. Obviously trying to get over the flu...

3. Trying to make a list of all the dvds I own, plus eventually doing the same for cds, mp3s, books, etc, though they might end up waiting until I've moved I think.

4. Keeping my pets alive and well, while trying not to go insane sometimes because they are just so silly at times. I'm sure that one of these days the kittens are going to learn that its impossible to balance on top of the handle of a broom, but then again, maybe they won't either. Blah!

5. Spending time with my boyfriend, now that I have one, and getting to know him better.

6. Getting certain things in my life sorted out once and for all, so that I can move on and enjoy the next however many years I have left :-)

You know, that kind of thing!

Anyway, now that my nose is completely blocked, I'd best go and unblock it (not that you needed to know that, I guess). Toodles.

The Joys of Winter......not!

Mum told me last week that there was a nasty version of the flu around, and given the way I woke up this morning, I think I have it. My throat is raw, my nose is runny, my body hurts.....none of this is good, I'm thinking. Arrggghhh.....

Oh well. Needless to say, this blog will be quick today. Mostly I'm just dropping by to say its been raining pretty much on and off since Saturday, and its been great, its been rather cold recently, which also isn't such a bad thing, and I'm doing the happy "got a boyfriend" thing, which is most definitely never a bad thing. He's a truly wonderful bloke, and seriously cute, though he goes a very nice shade of red when I tell him that. :-)

Anyway, things to do, boyfriends to visit. Happy is the world when things click, even if you are sick with the flu!

The Melting Pot of Earth

I just realised that its been ages since I last posted here, so I am rectifying that now :-)

I watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's" on Monday night. Last time I saw it, it was on a tiny little black and white tv at a friend's place. He'd never seen it, but was willing to watch it with me, because he knew I liked it so much. This film is, to me, what "Steel Magnolias" is to my mum and my sister. It makes me cry, it makes me laugh, it makes me feel good, it even makes me want to dance and sing.

I think its a fair assessment to say I am so over chick flicks. I guess that comes from being hurt, trodden on, etc, by people. It kinda takes the joy out of life, and let's face it, chick flicks are about all the little joys in life, so I tend to avoid them, except for a select few, like "Breakfast at Tiffany's".

Or maybe its just that I think Audrey Hepburn is simply divine. A girl-crush. Woohoo! She's cool though, and I've seen her in so many things, and can still find her movies refreshing and wonderful. But there is definitely something special about that film. Having watched it again, with fresh eyes, really it's just a film, like any other, and yet there is also so much more to it. Even a fair dash of angst, if you know where to look. Gotta love that angst :-)

It does make me wonder, though, how we as people really look at life. Do we honestly see the world as it appears on film and tv, with that soft rosy glow you get from only seeing what they (the big 'they') want you to see, or do we actually see the world as it really honestly is, warts and all? I have a sneaking suspicion that we see the world through rose-coloured glasses, otherwise why do we get so shocked when we see murder and crime splashed across the daily news? If we were seeing the world as it really is, we'd expect to see murder and crime, wars and natural disasters every single day, because we'd be used to it.

I think we need the movies and tv though, if only to give us somewhere to hide on those rare occassions that we do take off those rose-coloured glasses and see the world for what it honestly is. Because, truthfully, the big bad world out there is a scary place. Of course, the world is often what we make it, so we only have ourselves to blame if its scary, but it's still scary nevertheless.

We as humans feel the overwhelming need to hide from things. We've been doing this since infanthood. That big scary man who picks you up and makes you cry - you don't know why he makes you cry, just that he does. What do you do? You squeeze shut your eyes and scream for your mummy. You run and hide, so to speak. I think the baby mentality - if I can't see it, it doesn't exist - is one that sticks with us throughout our whole lives. We just don't want to admit it :-)

It's the need to stay innocent, and pretend that the big scary stuff that's happening out there, really isn't. We complain that our kids are losing their innocence so much earlier than we did, and yet we are at fault for that too. But can we do anything about that? Are we willing to do anything to change it? I know that the way the world is now, we are in need of a drastic change. Something's gotta give, so to speak. It's just a matter, I guess, of whether this generation or the one that follows, has the guts to actually do whatever is needed to change the status quo.

Warfare and other past-times

The world is a truly wonderful place, if only for its diversity and for the change you will generally find around every corner. In nature alone there is a multitude of strange and utterly unique things to be discovered and learned about. Take the three toed sloth, for example. Here is a creature that spends pretty much its whole long life of 30-40 years hanging upside down, covered in green algae, and when it does, on rare occassions, go and actually MOVE, it does so incredibly slowly. Imagine spending your entire life just hanging with your mates, upside down, doing everything you have to do (including toiletries and mating) from that position. Makes me wonder what a typical three toed sloth THINKS about all day :-)

But I think that the most unique form of nature on Earth has to be us. Homo Sapiens. Humans. Those of us with opposable thumbs, with the ability to think for ourselves, to communicate, to procreate or choose not to, to take responsibility for our actions. Now, I'm not saying other forms of nature don't do a lot of this - I'm sure the big cats in Africa put SOME thought into whether they'll let the sick go and just take down a big'un or vice versa, when they are hungry or just bored, but humans are different. Or at least, we like to think we are. Just because we don't understand the language of plants and animals doesn't mean they are not communicating - just that we haven't figured out how to listen to them properly, yet.

What I want to know, though, is why we felt the need, all those millenia ago, to take the fighting instinct to such heights. The rest of the natural world keep it as a "fight or flight" mechanism. We seem to take great pleasure in actually doing it for FUN. Is the true difference between humans and the rest of life on Earth really our opposable thumbs? Or is it the new heights to which we bring warfare and fighting? For centuries, men and women have thought up new ways to blow each other up, to wound each other, to kill each other. But why? Because of the adrenaline rush involved (that is actually part of the fight or flight mechanism, and helps to keep you alive), or a need to be better than every other human out there, or what? I doubt, these days, that it really does have much to do with an overriding urge to keep our fellow man (and woman) safe, anymore, and more to do with how strong a particular country appears to be in the eyes of the rest of the world.

But warfare is an interesting subject anyway. Right from the days of pelting rocks at dinosaurs and shouting "uggh!" a lot, to the sophistication of archery and mediaeval weaponry, even up to today's standards where it seems every year our militaries are issued with new machinery designed to be even more destructive and precise than those that came before, we've been interested, it seems, in finding ways to wipe our race off the face of this beautiful earth. War is a very sad thing, and I will never say it is a necessary thing, but it exists, and has done for an incredibly long time, and so we live with that fact, I guess. I will also admit that warfare, in all its forms, has been a fascination of mine since early childhood, and so, every so often, I do a little research on the topic.

Recently I came across a page that had some very interesting photographs on it. It was an army website for one of the major players, and for the most part they were normal every day photos - the army saving little kids, the army delivering troops...the usual things you expect to see. But every so often, there would be a photo among the hundreds that made me go back and take a second look. Sometimes it would just be a face, in camoflauge paint and helmet, and all you could see was a stunning blue eye. No idea of the sex of the person the face belonged to, and no idea of age, either. But that eye is burned into my mind for all time to come. Then there was another photo - two soldiers standing in a cave, with three or four openings around them. Granted, they were pretty much just standing there, doing their job, and truthfully, I don't think it was really those two young men that made me keep going back to that picture, but more honestly, the surroundings they found themselves in. Every single time I went back for a second or third glance, I saw something new, and felt something new. Perchance, a slight awakening to what those two men perhaps felt, standing there, wondering what would come next? In another photo, there was a certain urgency to the shot. Almost as though it was taken just moments before something truly big and horrifying happened. But again, there was no sign in the photo that anything at all was about to happen - just, as I said, a certain urgency. Looking at these photos made me think of how, over the years, the various wars have been shown to those of us left at home, wondering about the safety of our loved ones who are overseas and fighting on our behalf. I can understand the need to make us believe all is well, and to not show us the real stuff - the gory truth of war - but sometimes it would be nice to know a little more of the "need to know" truth, and less of the "for public consumption" truth. Because when the military tell us "all's well" and yet seem to be losing thousands of men on a regular basis, to me, that signifies that things are definitely NOT "all well". Those photographs, though, while very obviously cencored to keep the nastier side away from the gentle public, still had enough truth in every OTHER shot, to make me at least feel a little more secure.

boats and ships and planes and things

I woke up this morning, put a finger outside of the covers, went "bugger that, it's too cold", and snuggled back into my little coocoon for a few more hours, so needless to say, I didn't go on a mini trip today to look at other suburbs.

I really need to get back out on the ocean though. A member of my family has had boats over the years. The last one was sunk accidentally by a friend of his, but I heard recently that he has a new one now. He's told me in the past, that he'd love to have me aboard as deckhand. I've been a deckhand before on other boats, and thoroughly enjoyed it, so I'm hoping to be able to go sailing sometime soon with him and his family. Nothing beats feeling a boat or ship move beneath your feet, with the wind in your hair, and the total sense of freedom that you get being out THERE. It's scary as shit too, though, because you must be aware at all times that boats and ships do sink on occassions, and I have always had a fear of drowning. That said, if someone turned up at my door today and told me to choose between spending the rest of my life on a boat, sailing around the world, or living in my perfect dream house, I'd still choose the boat, come what may. Never before and never since, have I ever felt such freedom. The only thing that even comes close to that is the two times I went up in the Hot Air Balloons (I'd do that again in a second), and when a pilot friend of mine from my physics class at college took me up in his tiny little plane. Flying in little planes are so much cooler than flying in big planes. Though flying in general is still cool. Not the same as being on water, but still cool. I think my dream trip would be to sail around the world in an old wooden sailing ship. That would be perfection for me.

My parents and sister just don't get the attraction I have for ships though. Dad is scared of them. He's happy not to ever set foot on one if he can help it. My sister - I don't think she cares really, either way, but it's certainly not a passion for her. I think she probably sees boats, ships and ferries as a means of transport, nothing else. Mum is the only one who could at least get a little of what I see in them. She used to do a bit of boating when she was a teenager, not to mention surfing, so she can get where I am coming from with my need to be on the water. She grew up near some of Australia's best beaches, though, so I guess its understandable.

Me, though, I've lived in this city for 30 years. For the past 14 years, on and off, I've volunteered as a deckhand with a volunteer organisation, until last year. I miss it badly. But I also don't like the constant politics that turn up in volunteer organisations. Who really cares if in the past women weren't deckhands? If they can prove they can do the job, and don't mind hauling on very heavy wet bow lines (and are able to actually do so), then what's the problem? If they can follow orders, and know their way around a boat or ship, can work the equipment without harming themselves or anyone else, and can pull their own weight on board, I still don't see the problem. But apparently certain newly made bosuns do. And so now I look elsewhere for deckhand duties. Sexism sucks, and it sucks even worse in the armed forces.

So these days I'm getting on with my life - single - and trying to get back out on the sea that I love so much. I never used to think of myself as sporty, and I'm not particularly, but I've turned into an outdoorsy type, that's for sure. When I was growing up we used to play backyard cricket (I still have the cricket bat Dad made for me), backyard badminton, and frisbee with the dog, we used to go on family fishing trips, and I always did running in school, as well as swimming, both at school, and with my family at the local pool. In high school I did archery too, which was cool, as well as baseball, basketball and soccer. These days, while I don't swim much anymore, I do have a big dog who I walk pretty much every day, plus I go for long walks by myself, and then, of course, there's the work on the ships. On days we'd take the boat out, it was a long strenuous day, one that would result in total exhaustion at the end of it, but it was fun. On days that I just went in to help, it was still strenuous in the old days, but things change, sexism rears its ugly head, and all the fun in life is removed "due to safety reasons". Grr. These days, I get to polish brass on my help days. Sometimes I get to do greaser duties or spend a little time down in the boiler room but it depends on who's chief engineer that day. And also who's wearing the Captain's mantle. One of these days I'll go off and do the proper Deckhand course, and get my old posting back, but for now I'll go talk to my relative about his boat, learn some new skills, and bide my time.

Many years ago, when I was around 19, I was offered a chance to go on the Young Endeavour (see the photo above) for one of their sailing training trips. I was working for my parents at the time, so I was unable to go. Damn, but that would have been just about the best thing I could have gone on. Arrgghh. Every time there is a ship in port that has an open day, I'll generally turn up for tour on it, but the best tours are the ones you get from friends in the navy. That's when you get to see the engine room, the bridge, meet the captain, and get to see all the bits of the ship that you REALLY want to see, instead of the galley, the main deck, and maybe the captain's lounge.

Yes, I guess I'm obsessed with my ships and boats, but they make me feel alive, and remind me that I AM alive, so I'd rather be obsessed with nautical things than bored and sedentry and home alone all the time.

Winter is here...the snowqueen cometh....

I went to Mum's last night. 'They' - the proverbial 'they', say that a change is as good as a holiday. Being at Mum's for a night was like going on holiday for a week or so. I felt so much better when I got home today. Bad little me didn't even feel guilty about leaving my pets overnight, though I felt bad about my dog not having her coat on. It was nice to be able to sleep in a bed without three furry little felines to keep me company too.

It was very cold last night - well, cold for the beginning of winter and for where I live anyway. Dad said that where he was last night (he wasn't home) it was minus 4 degrees. It's only going to get colder, Dad! It was good seeing Dad this morning though. I wish I got to see my family a little more, but such is life. At least I talk to Mum pretty regularly. I miss my sister however, but she has her own life these days, so I catch up with her when she can.

I've decided that having lived in this house for the past 13 years, it's time to move on. It won't be soon, but hopefully it will be within the next year. I want to find a house I actually like. This place I live at currently is okay, but it was only ever meant to be a place I lived in for a year or two, tops. But as happens, my life got in the way, and here I still am. I'm going for a mini-trip tomorrow to one of the suburbs that I would like to live in, to see what's around, how far away it is, whether there is a vet within walking distance, as well as shops, schools, parks, etc. And public transport. Gotta love that public transport (especially when you don't drive).

In winter, I love how deep blue the sky gets. It is just so beautiful. I think I'd go batty if I couldn't get outside into the sunshine and fresh air. And out onto the bay. I love to be on boats and ships, and know that there is an ocean near by (or under me, depending on where I am). I also love shipwrecks and beaches, and piers. Anything with water involved, really :-)

I'm hoping to get back out onto the bay soon though. I really miss it.

At least life is keeping me busy these days, I guess.

Colds, mp3s, and "walking the dog" :-)

Ain't life grand? :-)

I went out on a date on Friday night with a very nice man and ended up getting his cold. I've been coughing and sneezing my way through the past couple of days. Oh well. I can live with that, because the evening was great, or at least, I thought it was. Anyway, to get myself through the past couple of days, I've taken my dog for a walk around my local area because she was driving me nuts running up and down the back stairs, barking at everything from a bee minding its own business in my geraniums, to one of my cats sitting on top of the fence post annoying her, to the twin kittens (well, full grown cats now, but I will forever continue to call them kittens) velcro-ing themselves to the inside of the back security door. She seemed to enjoy her walk, which also included trying to take on a nasty-tempered doberman, apparently, as well as sniffing EVERY SINGLE BLOODY TREE from my house onwards. At least it isn't as bad as the last time she and I ventured out on a little walk. She got away from me - first and ONLY time, I can guarantee you that - and she chased some poor little cat into its own yard. Thank god the owners weren't home, is all I can say.

So apart from walking the dog (which innocent little me found out yesterday also means something rather different to guys...the things you read about on the net - phew!), I've been trawling through my mp3 folder again, and discovering that my taste in music is just plain strange. I have everything in there from full choral orchestral pieces like Carmina Burana (which I sang in as a Tenor, btw), to twitty little things likes 1910 Fruitgum Company's "Yummy Yummy Yummy" and "Chewy Chewy", to Johnny Preston's "Running Bear", which Mum informed me the other day was the song that guys used to get drunk and sing to girls when she was growing up, because apparently the words take on a whole different meaning if you are male and drunk and trying to get laid. One of these days, I'm just gonna have to listen to it again, I guess... I also found The Village People, Helen Ready (yes I do actually have "I Am Woman" in my collection), to country and western stuff (but not a great deal of that), to Australian stuff (obviously), to a heap of other things. I suppose that's what you get when you share mp3s with other people. Looking through my mp3s over the past few days has resulted in lots of "WTF???" (I hope most people know what that stands for), because there's stuff in there I KNOW I wouldn't listen to, and yet there it sits, innocent enough, until you actually play it, and again you find yourself either cringing, almost peeing yourself from laughing so hard, or just going "WTF?????". But I think the oddest song in my collection is Rolf Harris doing The Divinyl's song "I Touch Myself". If you have heard the original, you know it's a chick song. Any guy worth his salt is NOT going to openly admit to liking the song, let alone break out into singing it in a public place (that's happened to me fairly recently, but that's another story), and yet, here is dear old Rolf of "Jake the Peg" fame, singing his heart out. To give the guy credit, he DID sound incredibly embarrased, especially during the choruses, where at one point he forgot the words, and had to ask someone (a girl) who happily informed him of the next line. And what is it with that damn wobbly board thing of his? It's ALL the way through the song! Mind you, the song starts with him panting, which just cracks me up everytime I listen to it. And during the choruses he actually sounds like someone is stringing him up by his privates, but I guess it's a "you had to be there" kind of song....

I've been reading an interesting set of "editorials" by a bloke called Azrael (link: http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/). Some of the things he has to say made me laugh so hard I swear nearly every muscle in my body hurts (or maybe that's just this cold I have, I dunno). Anyway, go check him out. He's hilarious.

cold weather, cold hearts, cold hands, cold everything

It's hard to believe this blog is a week old. It's been a tumultuous week for a lot of people, I think. It's sunday once again, and my dog made a play for my cup of tea this morning when I went to sit on the back stairs with her :-)

Seems she drank all her water yesterday or last night, because she was thirsty enough this morning to try out a hot cup of tea. Needless to say, I filled her water bucket up in preference to sharing my morning cuppa. That said, my parents had a dog when I was growing up, who was forever drinking my sister's cup of tea before she ever got to it. She'd put it on the floor near the foot of the chair, and then when she was ready to drink it (she always let it get to lukewarm before drinking it), she'd reach down, only to find half of it gone! The dog had had his fill first. The same dog used to climb up into Mum's lap while she was trying to do a crossword, and while that was okay when he was a little puppy, when he was a full grown dog, there just really wasn't that much room in the chair for both her and him! And he used to hog my sister's chair. There'd be this mad dash for the chair every night after dinner. More often than not, the dog got there first, and my sister would have to sit on the couch with me and the other dog.

My house is cold this morning. Timber floors are great in summer, but not so great in winter, unfortunately. Anyway, washing to do.

no need for bad men

I'm seriously not into slanging matches, and tend to avoid them whenever I can. That said, as I have said before, I WILL stand up for myself when I see the need. Someone laying blame on me for things they know nothing at all about just isn't on, and if that person is still reading this blog, then they know who they are. To you, I say this: keep you nose out of other people's business. Shut your trap about things that are nothing to do with you. And as to your last remark to me about you feeling sorry for any man who goes out with me, well all I can say is "no wonder you are still single. You are one of the most shallowest of men I have ever known.". At least I've gone the full distance with someone before, unlike you. I've proven I am worthy. Oh, and not that it's any of your business at all, but I left him, not the other way around, as you tried to imply. Don't bother contacting me ever again. I don't have time in my full and active life to waste on the likes of you.

Now I'm off to wash my hands and think of a happy night spent in good company.

when a spade is a spade and not a shovel....

A dear, close friend of mine told me today that she is in no doubt that when it comes to the crunch, I will call a spade a spade and not a shovel, if I find myself in a sticky situation. My friends tell me that I am forthright, sometimes opinionated - I try not to be, but I really detest being told how to think when I have my very own brain sitting right here in my skull, just waiting for me to use it - bossy (something I hate being called, and yet something I can see in me, unfortunately. I'd really love to NOT be bossy), that kind of stuff.

I think perhaps that I am a human of the "foot stuck firmly down the throat to the kneecaps" family. I know that I have always been able to say exactly what I am thinking before I mean to. Take, for example, a guy I went out with in high school. Poor guy. I went out with him for a month, only because he wouldn't leave me be - kept spouting what he thought was romantic poetry, ala Shakespeare, during maths lessons, to the point where our maths teacher TOLD me to just get it over with and go out with the poor guy so we could learn about Archimedes and interesting things like geometry, trig, algebra, rather than listen to this guy's professions of undying love. Anyway, a month goes by, and he comes up to me outside one of our classes, and says "so, do you still love me?". I had never had feelings for the guy to begin with, and not thinking, (ie brain not in gear), I come out with "I never loved you to begin with". I swear you could hear a pin drop down the school corridor after I said that. The minute I said it I realised what a total dweeb I'd been, and mentally kicked myself for letting my mouth run off by itself and not take my brain along with it. My parents and sister tell me they love how cutting I can be. To me it's a "oh crap. NOT again. Why oh why can't I just remember to engage brain BEFORE opening mouth????"

I do, however, call a spade a spade, and not a shovel. I am honest to a fault, and if I am not comfortable with something, or I don't like someone, I WILL tell them. I won't go out of my way to hurt someone's feelings, in fact I will do my best NOT to hurt their feelings, but I can't and don't want to change the fact that I stand up for myself, and don't like to be walked all over.

I was told recently, also, that I am shallow. Yes and no. I think we are all shallow to a degree. It was made painfully aware to me by this person who told me I am shallow that he was right in what he said. It hurt to admit that to myself, but he was right. And I learned a valuable lesson from him because of that. I've accused people of being shallow for the exact same reasons as this gentleman (and he was that for sure, for holding a mirror up to me for me to see those faults, in the nicest manner he could) accused me of being shallow, but never realised that I am the same. For that, I am sorry. You know who you are.

It is something I need to address within myself, I think. Everybody changes, even though we also stay the same, if that makes any sense at all. In our core I think we are the same from birth, but the extremities? The stuff the world sees? (and I don't mean arms and legs here) I think this is the stuff that changes over time. We are what we make of ourselves. If we want to be shallow, lazy, pathetic, then we will be just that. If we don't like those "qualities", if we REALLY seriously don't like them, then I think it is within our abilities to change them for the betterment of our own wellbeing. Just as if you choose to stop smoking or drinking. It is a conscious decision, and something you choose to change. And so in that way, people change over time, but who we are inside? How we were raised? I don't think that changes that much.

Anyway, it's cold today, so I'm off to find a warm step and a lovely puppy dog to share a cup of coffee with.

there's a time and a place for everything

So it's either very early or very late right now. Not sure which one. Not sure I care either. :-)

I'm listening to music, pretty psyched. I went out tonight for the first time in ages. Saw a chick flick though. It was okay, just reminded me why I don't bother with chick flicks anymore. Too soppy. I did see a preview for the new Pirates of the Caribbean film though. I will DEFINITELY be seeing that one! So cool! Gotta love my ships. Sometimes I'm SUCH a boy...blah!

Tonight also reminded me that I am SO not good at the first date and meeting new people thing. I don't know about him, but it was painful for me. I was uncomfortable and unsure of myself, and not really into it. It was a spur of the moment decision to even go out tonight though, so I guess I have myself to blame. It's been a very long time since I had a first date with anybody. I still doubt I trust men at all, though.

Anyway, I should go to bed. I have stuff to do in the morning.

weather once again....boring I know :-)

Back to the weather chat again it seems. Today was the first day I had to wear long sleeves, so I'm guessing Autumn is pretty much over, and Winter is pretty much here. Normally we get a longer Autumn than a week or two, but hey. Autumn really officially goes for exactly 3 months here in the fantastic land of OZ, and starts on the first day of the month, unlike the rest of the world, it seems.

Anyway, enough of the weather. I just got back from a nice little walk (sans dog), decided my leg hurt too much today - those that know me know I had a bad accident a few years ago and hurt my leg pretty badly and bruised pretty much the rest of me awfully. I think my body is turning into a weather forcaster all its own though. I always know when the weather is going to change, I feel it in my bones :-)

It's been suggested to me that I talk too much. Really? Never would've guessed THAT one! But if you think I'm bad, you should see me at a family get-together with my mum, grandma, sister and aunts! There's no stopping any of us! I was always brought up with the belief that good family is one that can interrupt, talk over the top, and not offend. If it's all polite and "may I say something please?" then it's very distant and not much fun. I like a spirited discussion as much as the next person. I don't like being made fun of, or being made the butt of all jokes, however. But maybe that's just me. I've also been told I am very bossy. I decline to comment. I will say, however, that I'm no pushover, and I have my opinions.

Anyway, stuff to do, people to talk to :-)

Australia - the perfect country

Ain't she a beaut? :-)

Now that I've done the Aussie language thing, that's our flag sitting up there. The union jack in one corner says we are still part of the British Empire, or rather, the British Commonwealth, now. The big star under it represents the 6 states of Australia, plus one point for our overseas colonies, (that big star is called the Commonwealth Star, and we gained it at Federation in 1901), and the other five stars are the Southern Cross. When we go outside at night, we can see this constellation. I'd like to think that the blue background represents all that glorious blue sea around us, and the even more glorious blue sky above, but I'm not totally sure on that.

I love my country and where I live. It's beautiful and perfect and glorious and wonderful, and it's home. I still want to travel and see the rest of Australia, but I'd love to some day see the rest of the world too. I apparently still have family over in the UK that I've never met, as well as some family in Denmark. But no matter where I end up in my life, Australia will always be my home. Corny as it sounds, Peter Allen's song "I still call Australia home" is so true of many of us that leave our home shores. You can't take Australia out of Australians. Sorry, but that's just how it goes. Unless you were born here, it's hard to explain. I guess the same can be said for other people around the world, though. Like my current favourites - our US buddies. Wherever they go, they will always be americans. They can't change that, and they don't want to. They are proud of their heritage and their homeland, and so they should be. But I think, perhaps, that we are a tad different, because a lot of us can still trace our heritage back to the convict days of Australia, and so many of us are in reality just misplaced Poms. My grandfather on one side of my family was a pom, and so for me, on both sides I am only 2nd and 3rd generation Australian, because my great grandfather on the other side was from Denmark. But I was born here, to Australian born parents, and in my heart Australia is home. For many Australians, it's like this, and will continue to be for many generations to come. We haven't been around for long enough, I guess. Except for the Australian Aborigines. They've been here for 40 000 + years.

Sorry. Just feeling rather patriotic this morning. :-)

windmills and lighthouses and all things cool

Yay! My desktop is working again. New video card, new (better, stronger) power source. It seems it was the power source after all. Oh well. At least it gave me a reason for updating my old video card :-)

This photo is one I took of the Old Windmill Observatory in Wickham Terrace, in Brisbane. It is the oldest standing structure in Brisbane. It was built in 1828 by the convicts. Australia was settled as a penal colony. The Poms (erm...English) sent their criminals here because their prisons were getting too full, and basically, they just wanted to get rid of them. The original penal colonly was at Botany Bay (now Sydney Harbour), but the worst of all penal colonies was the one at Moreton Bay, where Brisbane is. The man in charge at the time was Captain Patrick Logan. A more evil bugger I doubt you'd be able to find at the time. This man would make Sadam Hussein proud, he was that bad. A very brief history of the birth of Brisbane can be found here:

(http://www.tq.com.au/tq_com/media/destination-kits/brisbane-stories/queenslands-brutal-convict-heritage.cfm)

In Brisbane, a lot of the roads were originally laid by the convicts. During the war time (WW2), the Americans under General Macarthur, while stationed here, laid the first bitumun roads. In some cases, these were the first roads at all, as a lot of Brisbane, except for the CBD itself and nearby surrounding suburbs, still had dirt streets.

When I was growing up, we learnt a lot of the old australian folk songs in school, right along with most of our country's dark history. These days all the kids are learning here in Australia seems to be what the various states of the US are. Ask a typical 9 year old Australian what the Capital of Australia is, and they couldn't tell you (it's Canberra, by the way). Ask them where Capitol Hill is in the US - they give you the right answer. Most also don't seem to know that our national anthem is Advance Australia Fair, and NOT the US national anthem. I know I seem to have a go at the yanks a bit, but it hurts that my own country - the land of my birth - no longer seems to have any pride in themselves. Australia has such a very rich history, and yet they don't teach it in schools anymore, and most parents don't seem to care. When I was a kid I loved doing assigments in Primary School on Bush Rangers and Convicts, and the First Fleet. I remember my grade 6 teacher teaching us how to sing The Wild Colonial Boy, and Botany Bay, as well as The Queensland Drover and a fair few other Australian Folk Songs. But such is life, apparently. No more griping from me. :-)

I do love history, though, and I do enjoy learning about new cultures. And I'm only mentioning the US so much because I am currently doing some learning (by choice). I realised that while every other Australian seemed to know a great deal about American History, I did not. So I started with the first thing that came to mind - the American Civil War. It helps that Foxtel is broadcasting a program called The Civil War, just now, all about the American Civil War. I've been reading, digesting, learning, and discovering. I've been listening to American Civil War songs - I was surprised at how many of them I knew from my school days. I remember my sister teaching me "John Brown's Body", though I learnt it as "John Brown's baby has a cold upon his chest..", when I was little, and in winter, walking home from primary school, we'd sing it as a marching song, to keep us warm. So far it's been an interesting trundle through the annals of history.

But this blog is supposed to be about windmills (done that - I mentioned the Old Observatory Windmill), and Lighthouses and all things cool. Well I think history is cool (thanks Dad for getting me into that in the first place). As to lighthouses? They are a fascination of mine. A few years back I went all the way across country, from East Coast to West Coast (first time I had ever left the East Coast, too, and it was way cool!), and I got to see some pretty amazing lighthouses in WA (Western Australia). I got to visit the south-western most point of Australia, where Cape Leeuwin Lighthouse is (that thing is massive!), and, for the very first time in my whole life, I got to watch the sun set. Now that sounds a bit odd, I know. I've seen the sun set in the eastern states, sure, but I've never really seen it set over the horizon, as it is supposed to, because the sun sets in the west. I've seen it go down over mountain ranges, over buildings, but never over the horizon. In WA, I stood on the beach, and watched the sun set over the ocean, and over the horizon. It was breathtaking, and amazing. And recently when I went for a visit down south, I happened to be on a train as the sun was rising over the ocean, and I got to see the sun rise over the east, over the ocean. Two of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. Oh and in WA, I saw my second only ocean ever. In the east, we have the Pacific Ocean. In the west, its the Indian Ocean. I live on an island (Australia is officially the LARGEST island continent in the world), and yet we have more than one ocean surrounding us. How cool is that? :-)

There's still a great deal of this land of Oz that I've yet to see, and one train ride I still want to do - the Ghan, right up the middle of Australia, from Adelaide to Uluru (that's Ayers Rock) to Darwin. I think I am lucky because even though there is still so very much of this beautiful country I've never seen, I can at least say I've been out of my home town, out of my home state, and I've seen a great deal of both as well. I've spent time on sheep and cattle farms, I've milked cows, I've ridden horses, I've been in places so hot that the skin just flakes off you like dandruff, and if you open your mouth the flies take up residence. I've swum in billabongs (waterholes for non aussies), told stories around campfires about the Bunyip and the bush rangers, I've played Cane Toad Footy, and I've been chased by both a herd of cattle and a hell of a lot of Big Reds (them's kangaroos, folks). I've also gone up in two hot air balloons, which I loved, and would very happily do it again in a minute. Plus I've sailed the seas - or at least the bay, and felt the wind in my hair, and grease on my hands, and the coal dust in my mouth. I think I can honestly say "I have lived", and been proud to do so. I know it doesn't sound like a great deal, but life is what you make it, and I don't believe in sitting back and watching it slip away. Not too many people can say they were involved in taking an old retired steam tug for a very slow joy-ride down the river, either. Actually, only three others can say that, because they were on her with me :-) But that's a whole other story. Needless to say, I love my life.

Governmental stupidity

I'm starting to wonder at the sanity of some government leaders. I was reading Google News last night while watching Fox News' broadcast of the severe weather problems in the north eastern parts of the US. The flooding up there is pretty bad just now. I just hope no one dies, but someone always does. It seems the way of things, unfortunately. But anyway - Google News. I was reading about how of all the countries that went to Iraq, only Australia supposedly still likes their leader. George W has suffered a major drop in popularity because of his decision to send the young men and women of the United States to fight in a country not their own, Tony Blair in England is suffering much the same fate. The same goes for the other governments, except, apparently, for little Johnny Howard. While I know I don't speak for all Australians, I know that I probably speak for a hell of a lot of us when I say that NO WE DON'T LIKE HIM EITHER. At the next election over here (whenever that happens to be), it is currently looking like Labor will win, and we will once again have a decent Prime Minister. But for us, it isn't just our recent and new friendship with the US while ignoring our ties to our Mother Country, England (and we are still a member of the British Commonwealth, so England is still the Mother Country) that annoys most Australians. It's Little Johnny's need to line his own pockets with the money of the hard working Australians he supposedly leads. It's his belief of "one rule for the rich, and the poor can go to hell". And now it's his determination to turn Australia - our beautiful rugged country, our eclectic multicultural soul - into a nuclear waste dumping ground.

Little Johnny - and no, I have no respect for a man who happily sends HIS young men and women off to war, and yet does not recognise or respect those that came before, specifically our own Vietnam Veterans - Little Johnny is in the United States currently. All I can say to our new US friends is, if you want him, keep him. We don't want him back, thank you very much. Oh and that blue flag with the Union Jack in one corner and the Southern Cross spread out over the rest of it, that is currently hanging next to the Stars and Stripes on Capitol Hill? That's the Australian Flag. Say hello when you next pass it. You're supposed to be our new best friends now, so be polite!

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the US. I have a lot of American friends, and looking back through history recently has reminded me of our past relations with the US. Take, for example, WW2. General Douglas Macarthur arrived in Brisbane in the 1940s and took over the town for a few years. Of course The Battle Of Brisbane kind of ended his prolonged stay, but apparently it was fun while they were there. Then there was New Guinea and such, and the formation of the ANZUS treaty.

(http://www.australianpolitics.com/foreign/anzus/anzus-treaty.shtml)

Though it does seem that our "fearless leader" has taken those promises made back in 1951 a little too far. The treaty we have says that basically if we are in trouble in the PACIFIC - ie, where Australia is anyway - then we can call on our US friends to help us out if England is unable or unwilling to help us, and we are unable to look after ourselves. Same goes for the US. If they are in the Pacific region for whatever reason, and need our help or the help of New Zealand (that is, until 1986, when they banned US warships from entering any of their ports because they were worried about Nuclear weapons and nuclear powered ships) then we would come to their aid too. It is also about talking and asking advice. I know that's a very basic take on it, but it's what it's all about. I don't remember it saying anywhere in there that if the US is taking over a country far away from America and Australia, that they can call on us and expect us to go along for the ride. Needless to say, they've done that to us more than once. Granted, Korea is not too far from Australia, and neither is Vietnam, but Iraq? Umm...NOT in the Pacific, last time I checked. Hell, at least England came along this time too. In for a penny, in for a pound, perhaps? :-)

Reading back over what I have said above, I could understand someone thinking I don't like Americans, and that I don't agree with war or sending our men and women off to fight and to die. I will reiterate that I DO like Americans - most of the time. But then, I don't always like Australians or the English either. As to war and soldiers, sailors and airmen? War is horrendous. It's a waste of useful, good lives, generally in a cause that is more about who is more powerful, or who's god is better, or just plain "I don't like that country. How about we wipe them off the face of the earth?". As to the Military themselves? I am a very proud decendent of generations upon generations of soliders, airmen and sailors. I am intensely proud of each and every one of them. It's not their fault that there is a need for them. They fight for their countries, with one hope in their hearts, generally, and that hope is that the war will soon end and they can come home again. Not all of them get that hope. Some do, and yet find life too difficult when they get back because no one seems to understand them anymore. For others, war is something they did, and they spend the rest of their lives trying desperately to forget all they saw. Anyone who says war is glorious, never fought for their lives on foreign soil, never saw their best friend get killed in front of them, never faced death on a daily basis.

Here endeth the sermon for today. :-)

Stormy Weather

Strange how the weather can change so quickly. Today was glorious, tonight is the first night that I have heard the Westerly Winds, and I think it rained just before.

Tonight I have a headache though, so I think I'll just go to bed early. Here's one of my favourite poems. I think it describes my homeland very well.

My Country
by
Dorothea Mackellar(1885 - 1968)

The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded lanes.
Of ordered woods and gardens
Is running in your veins,
Strong love of grey-blue distance
Brown streams and soft dim skies
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror -
The wide brown land for me!

A stark white ring-barked forest
All tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon.
Green tangle of the brushes,
Where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree-tops
And ferns the warm dark soil.

Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When sick at heart, around us,
We see the cattle die-
But then the grey clouds gather,
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady, soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the Rainbow Gold,
For flood and fire and famine,
She pays us back threefold-
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.

An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land-
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand-
Though earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country
My homing thoughts will fly.

Dorothea Mackellar

The last of the Autumn flowers....

Autumn is definitely here. It was quite cool this morning. Sunny though, as you can see from the picture. This is a tree in my front yard, proudly showing off the last of its Autumn flowers. Down further on the tree are two sad little leaves.

Over the years I've lived in this house, I've watched the seasons change by watching this tree. It's generally the first tree in my yard to get a leaf on it when Spring is on the way, and the last to lose its leaves in Autumn.

I woke up this morning, very tired, after having sat up doing research on the American Civil War of the 1860s. My own fault for not going to bed earlier, I know. I have some research to do for work, yet, but as I get to work my own hours (pretty much), I'll do it a bit later when I've woken up, and gone for a walk. It's an absolutely glorious day, and perfect for taking an overactive dalmatian for a walk, I think. :-)

I really need to get into my garden though and cut back the rose bush, and pull a heap of weeds. I also need to get my winter vegies in, or I'll have no produce this year. I think that there is nothing better than home grown fruit and veg. Except for maybe homemade food! It's hard to plant seedlings in my yard these days though, when my dog comes along behind me and tries to help, by digging them all up again. And if they do manage to avoid her 'help', she eats all the produce before I can get to it. Strange dog, indeed, who loves green tomatoes straight from the vine. On occassions that Mum has had to dog sit for me, she says that the dog leaves her tomato plants alone, so it must just be mine that she loves.

Recently I got into the habit of starting my day with a cup of coffee, sitting on my back steps with the dog. I have no verandah (or porch, as its called in other parts of the world), so my steps are pretty much it if I want to sit for a bit in the sun. Now that it is cooler, I can do this, though, as summers here are just far too hot to sit in. I find its a nice gentle way to start the day, though. Also terribly funny, as my dog sees fit to tell me in no uncertain terms just how much she adores me and loves me. I never knew how hard it can be to drink a cup of coffee until I had a 30kg dog trying to climb into my lap at the same time as I was trying to drink the coffee. Now I've learnt to take small sips when I get the chance, like when her attention is temporarily drawn to something else, like the kittens climbing up the inside of the back security door. I call them 'velcro cats' for a reason :-)

I love my dog though, and she is great fun to sit with. She got all excited yesterday because Dad dropped in quickly on his way home, to deliver some dry food for her. I swear she must have thought it was just the best thing to have happened all day, and she would not let Dad go until she'd practically licked him to death. I'm glad she likes my parents though, and that my parents like her. It makes it easier when they have to dog-sit for me when I go away.

Anyway, I'm off to make use of the sunshine - first sunshine in days. Washing to do, dog to walk, weeds to pull.

Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day, Mum, Grandma, and every other Mum out there that I know (and don't know).

My desktop computer had a hiccup the other day, and so it is now waiting for me to buy a new video card. I hope that's all that's wrong with it.

I'm using a dicky borrowed laptop, currently, though, and it's terribly terribly slow. It's meant to run Win 98, but it's got Win XP on it, so it takes half an hour to start up, and then when things crash (and they do), it takes about an hour to get the Task Manager to finally respond, so I can shut down the offending program, because attempting to shut the program down by clicking the close button just causes even more crashes. Grr.

Anyway, I'm finally getting the laptop to play the mp3s I have stored on my external hard drive. It's only taken a complete restart of the system for that to happen, though. Yikes. Can't wait until I get the new video card, and my desktop starts working again. The system works, starts up, does all the right sounds, etc, just no pictures. And no it isn't the monitor. I checked that with various monitors I have. I checked the RAM. Everything is fine, just no picture. The video card is an old 64mb card though - about 6 years old, I guess, maybe older. It's been telling me it was dying for a while now, actually. It's just a pain that it couldn't wait until my next paypacket before it died. Oh well.

I'm struggling to get over a cold currently, so I'm spending a lot of time on the computer and watching foxtel. That and I'm kinda hiding out in my house, avoiding certain people who won't leave me be. So now I have a very large display cabinet in front of my front windows so people can't peer through my front window to see if I am home and at my computer (which is in the lounge room right at the front of the house), but it means I no longer get to see much of the outside world. It's actually amazing what lack of sunshine, rain, or weather in general does to your soul. I wonder how the prisoners who are locked in their cells for 23 hours every day manage? Sometimes I feel like that, I guess. I'm being good though. I'm making myself go out for a walk each day, just to get some fresh air and sunshine. The last couple of days I've stayed inside, however. It's Autumn here and starting to get cool, and the sky's been cloudy and looking like rain for a day or two. Or maybe I am just making excuses for staying inside and procrastinating on the net? Yeah, that'd be it :-)

That said, I think I'm addicted to the game, Bejewelled 2. And, possibly, to Fox News (yikes!), and to the show Cops. The American show, Cops. The one they all seem to rave about over there. Or at least, the guys all seem to rave about. Or so I gather from various blogs I read. It's actually a pretty cool show. Fox News, though - "unbiased"? "fair?". No on both counts. Unless, of course, you think George W is a god. I'm not giving an opinion either way. He's made his mistakes, and he's sometimes done good things for the US, and really I can't stand up and say Georgey boy is bad when we have Little Johnny running our own country down into the ground! There's a show on there called Hannity and Colmes. Colmes I don't mind. He at least tries to be fair. But whenever someone says something (and generally it's a Democrat who says it) that Hannity obviously disagrees with (and he seems way too fond of old George W), then he practically jumps down their throats, tells them "how" they should be thinking, and then goes on to say that they've run out of time, and doesn't let them answer. But if one of the republicans is on, he lets them waffle on for ages. Grr. So much for being unbiased and fair. Neil Cavuto is pretty cool though. I don't always agree with him, I don't always like him, but I can at least respect him and listen to what he has to say. He's probably one of the only ones on that channel that even comes close to fair and unbiased.

So, given I live in Australia, why am I watching an American news channel, and watching American shows? Well I have friends in the States, especially a very good friend in Michigan, who I haven't heard from in a little while, and who I am a bit worried about because of all the bad weather heading her way just now. Plus I have a thing about learning about other cultures. After doing a year of Italian last year, I felt I needed a change, and wanted to learn about a country that basically speaks the same language as I do. That and Foxtel seems to play mostly Yank stuff these days. Yank or Pom, and not a great deal of Oz or Kiwi. Ummm. Maybe I should re-phrase that? :-) American or English, and not a lot of Australian or New Zealand.

I believe that everyone in the world has something to offer. I hate it when certain people tell me I should not talk to people overseas, and that I shouldn't watch overseas tv or listen to overseas radio. Why not? What's wrong with watching M*A*S*H*? Why shouldn't I watch Everybody Loves Raymond if it makes me giggle? These same people, however, see nothing wrong with sitting down and watching Dr Who (well known and well loved British show), The Bill (also british), Oshin (a very old Japanese soapy that used to be on SBS tv here in Australia in the 1980s), Inspector Rex (German cop show)....

So what, exactly, is wrong with watching the odd US show? Do they have the plague over there or something? :-) Am I gonna catch it if I watch their tv shows? Or listen to their music? I doubt that very much! I hereby proudly stand up and say I love The Monkees, Blood Sweat and Tears, most of the Barbershop groups, Roger Miller (yes, I know, that one's kind of embarrasing, but I still love a lot of the lyrics to his songs) as well as a fair few other musicians and bands!

Am I patriotic to my own country? Hell yes! But I am also willing to look out and about, and around me. No blinkers for me. The world is there to be explored. And with the internet, it's a whole lot easier now to do just that. I believe that if we were meant to all be exactly the same, then we'd all be living on the one continent, all speaking the exact same language, with the exact same accent. Wouldn't life be dull as dishwater then? Infinite Diversity, and all that. :-)

First Ever Blog for me

Welcome to my blog :-)

I'm sitting here with a cat on my lap. He's a fairly big cat too, and he's making it rather hard to type, but he's cute and I love him, so he's welcome to stay put for now. When he gets too annoying I'll probably dislodge him, but currently he's just looking cute and trying to sleep, and that's okay with me.

I have to admit, I really do like cats. I never used to. I grew up with dogs my whole life. I was brought up to believe that cats were icky. Cats were meant to be run over by cars. Cats were meant to be chased by dogs. Cats were meant to be hosed....that kind of stuff.

And then one day I was adopted by a cat and my whole life changed. Not the one that is lying spread out over my lap, he came after. But my first cat is still with me, and she's beautiful. I guess she's probably about 9 now. I'm not sure, because she was a stray who followed me home one week and then moved in one Friday evening and stayed put for two weeks, before finally going and sitting on the top of my steps. Of course, now she's just another member of my ever growing family of adopted animals.

Since I moved out of home, I've been adopted by a chook (a white leghorn chicken) who I called Sally, my first beautiful fluffy grey cat, the boy who is sitting on my lap just now, a dalmatian dog, who was given to me because for the two of us it was love at first sight, and besides, she's beautiful, a fair few guinea pigs, and most recently, two twin kittens. My family tell me I am using my pets as replacement children, because I don't currently have any kids. I don't know about that. I think if you are adopted by an animal, then it happened for a reason. I love my animals to bits, and yes they get spoiled, but I'm not 100% sure they are replacement kids. Well, maybe they are...just a little :-)

My sister told me the other day that her biggest fear was that I would end up as a Cat Lady. You know, one of those old women who live in a house with hundreds and hundreds of cats, and who are generally a little strange, and all the local kids are scared of her and say she's a witch and stuff.

I really hope I DON'T turn out like that! I love my cats, but I know 4 is way too many, when you add a guinea pig and a dog to the mix. Especially when two of the cats are indoor only cats because they are so inbred they can run head first into the side of the couch and not even miss a beat, or careen head first into a wall and not notice, or truly believe they can fly, and therefore jump off the top of the highest thing they can find, and wonder why they go splat onto the ground below.

Now, exactly how long would they last outside my house in the street? Probably not very long at all. I know they are inbred because their dad is also their half brother, their grandfather, their uncle and their cousin. And their mum is their sister and aunt as well as being their mum. That said, there isn't a nasty bone in either of their cute little bodies, and they are so happy to see you that they turn on their little engines and purr the house down. Oh how I love being woken in the morning by a cat at each ear, purring madly into it! :-)

It's Autumn here, and starting to get a bit cool at night. I haven't decided if it is going to be a cold winter yet, though. Where I live it doesn't snow, it just gets very very windy. Not that I have any trouble keeping warm when I have four cats and a very large dog all vying for a place on my lap! I don't let the dog in the house. She's too big, and she's a little TOO fond of the two older cats, and the guinea pig, to let her roam free. That and she hogged the bed on the two occasions I DID let her in for the night.

My cats, however, well, unless I lock them ALL in the bathroom together (NOT a good idea), I generally end up with at least three of the four cats on the bed for most of the night. The twins and Mr Vampire Teeth (the boy on my lap currently) all have a thing about attacking anything that moves, so apparently my feet are fair game. My old girl though, she just loves sleeping across my neck, on my shoulder, or generally as close to my head as she can get, so every time I open my eyes, she's nose to nose with me. Actually, that's pretty true of the other three as well.

When I can, I try to make other arrangements for them, so I can get a decent night's sleep. There's just NOT enough room in a single bed for four cats and one human, or one very very large dalmatian and one little human. Maybe I'm just too soft hearted. I don't want them to be cold, and they are nice little heaters to have on the bed in winter. Not the dog though. She's just smelly. Smelly, but lovable. But anyway, I digress.

No I am NOT obsessed with my animals. :-) I've just reread what I have written above, and I know I sound like I am, but I really am not obsessed. I do have other things in my life.

I'm reading a very interesting book currently. It's called "Reach For The Skies". It's the autobiographical story of Douglas Badar. He was in the Air Force in WW2, and he lost both legs. I think he was the first pilot to have two metal legs. They made a film about his life many years ago, by the same title as the book. I remember watching it with Dad. Every time there was a war flick on TV (or a John Wayne film) Dad would call me from wherever I was in the house to watch it with him. I think, quite possibly, that I have seen every single war film made until about 1985. Oh, and Seven Samurai. I don't know how many times I've seen that.

I think Dad has a great deal to do with how I view the world. In fact, I know he does. He's shown me a world I don't know that I would have seen by myself. Life hasn't always been easy between us, but of all the teachers I have had in my life, his lessons were the ones that stuck the hardest. He taught me to question everything. To not wear blinkers when looking at the world. To laugh at everything and everyone, including myself. He taught me to love and be loved, but mostly he taught me to stand up for myself and be honest to who I am. He taught me how to fight the good fight. He taught me to look beyond what is right in front of me, and to go in search of answers, of rights and wrongs, of wonderlust, of freedom. He taught me to be me.

Wow, my mind really is wandering tonight. I seem to go off on a tangent a lot....

I've been wondering what else I can say right now, or what I'd like to add to my first ever blog entry. Maybe just a short bio? :-) A list of likes and dislikes? OK. :-)

Favourite Movie: 1949 version of A Secret Garden (with Margaret O'Brien)

Favourite Book: "Pastures of a Blue Crane". It's an Australian book, and not politically correct, but very descriptive.

Favourite Band: I have so many. 'Men at Work', 'Divynals', 'Australian Crawl', 'Aqua', 'The Beatles', 'The Monkees', 'Hedgehoppers Anonymous', 'Diesel Park West', to name just a few.

Favourite Food: Dad's Macaroni and Cheese. But it has to be made by Dad. Or it's no good. Mum's Irish Stew and Dumplings.

Favourite Animal: Friesian Cows.

Favourite type of ship (so okay this one is an odd question): triple expansion coal fired steam tug (and yes, I'm aware that a tug isn't big enough to be a ship, and is actually a boat, but a tug is just as strong, if not stronger than an average ship, and so qualifies to be classed as a ship)

Favourite Place to visit: Well I've never left Australia, so I will have to say this great wide brown land that I call home!

Favourite Poem: "A Sunburnt Country", by Dorethea Mackellar. Also, "The Loaded Dog", by Henry Lawson, and "A Road Less Travelled", by Robert Frost.

Favourite Author: Raymond E Feist

Favourite Colour: umm....purple, green, sky blue? Yellow, sometimes. Happy colours, colours of nature, colours of the sea.

Favourite time of day: sunrise.

Favourite TV show: MASH, Doc Martin, Dr Who (mostly the old version, but the new one isn't too bad), Law and Order, Cops, anything Star Trek, Stargate, Babylon 5, La Prova del Cuoco

Favourite Song: "Reuben James", Men at Work's "Down Under", "One Night in Bangkok" from CHESS, "When The Hoodoo Comes", "It's Good News Week", "These Boots Are Made For Walkin", "Dr Jones"....others.

What are you listening to right now?: KLF - Justified Ancients of Moo-Moo, Bluegrass Student Union (Barbershop), FRED (Barbershop), Boney M, Benny Goodman, stuff like that.

What are you reading currently?: "Reach for the Skies", a Star Trek Voyager novel (number 2, I think), "My Brilliant Career", "Coonardoo", and another book I've forgotten the name of right now.

What's your ideal job?: being a deckhand on a tug boat.

How many siblings do you have?: One. An older sister.

Are both your parents still alive?: yes.

What is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life?: my family

Okay...I can't think of anything else to say for now.